If time can be stopped...

I would be slim in 1 freaking day.... or maybe fatter >_< I would manage to do everything I'm supposed to do and plan to do. If only I had more time.

Some people ask me why I have time to check my blog and reply at my Lego-Taggie but no time to post new posts? Is it because I'm lacking in ideas? Nope. Definitely not that reason. 100% no.

I visit and reply at my Lego-Taggie because it relatively takes less time to reply a tag-board than to post a post. And yes, time is what I lack if you ask me why no updates. Believe me, I have tonnes of things to update that even if I'm idealess, I just open blog.txt on my desktop and there are 10 things waiting to be blogged. Like now, I just copied and pasted one to be blogged about (going to blog after this... erm... explanation).

So what, would you ask, that I'm so busy with that I don't have time to blog? Well, maybe my priorities can be a little off. For example, I check my e-mails about 5 times a day nowadays because I'm involved in an event where I want to be updated as much as I can. I check the forums every few hours for any questions to be answered. I do watch my anime or Stargate SG-1 also of course in between. But even though I'm practically online 24/7 and in front of my PC half that time, I don't check everyone's blog everyday. Heck, I don't check my own blog everyday. And even though online, I do not on my instant messengers. Imagine if I on my YM 24/7 and chat... I'll seriously not have enough time to do anything else. For the past week I've not touched WoW and I've barely made any progress in Lineage II too.

So now on to the post.... "A true friend stabs you from the front" This was a status message on Ross' YM some time ago and I really think it does hold a lot of meaning to it. Well, it depends how you look at it really. If I interpret 'stab' as dissing or bad-mouthing, then I have a friend who does that to me. Yes, present tense, not past tense. But the thing is, these stabbings somehow made me into a better person in some way. I won't start grandmother stories ageing back to when I was in secondary school. But I think it did change me and somehow I am a little grateful for that. She might not be reading this (though she says she reads it sometimes) but I don't really wanna go flatter her or anything. It's a more.... painful lesson. Blood may ooze out of the stab wound. The wound would not heal fast. It might even leave a scar. But! The knife was aimed at a dangerous being inside the flesh, killing it. A wound or a scar is better than death I'd say. So dear, thanks for stabbing and wounding me. Don't worry, you're proficient enough to stab me where no scar is left after recovery. =) *muacks*

PS: RSS feed is up after some... err... pestering by some people :p

A super long awaited post...

...As usual. This post was written like... urm.. when I was still training? I think my 2nd last week of training if I'm not mistaken which means early December or maybe late November. Wrote it since then but forgot to post till today. Wahahaa... thought of not posting but... it's quite... entertaining (I think) so I'll just share :p

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His perspective:

Ever since that day, my heart has been captured. The first time I saw her, I felt like I was in heaven, she being an angel. Everyday since then, I had waited. Every morning, hoping she would pass my desk and I'll catch a glimpse of her breathtaking face, sometimes a little sleepy which is quite cute.

She walks with poise, she walks with grace, she has the wind in her hair. Her strides are with confidence, full of life, and with passion. Almost every evening she passes my desk, me wishing she would just look at me or acknowledge my presence. More often then not, she stares into the managing directors' offices. I wished she would look the other way.

She comes back up and again I see her. Carrying a stack of papers but only her back can be seen. I wished for a day when someone would accidentally bump into her and she'd drop the papers in front of my desk, where I'll help her collect them back and take it from there.

My wish was not fulfilled. Now I'm already in Singapore for a business trip. And by the time I get back, she would have probably be gone as she is just a trainee. How I wish I could turn back time and tried to be friends with her. How I wish she was a permanent staff. How I hope she would return in the future.

My days will now be back to a state of grey. Dull and lifeless. I pray she returns and breathes life back into my poor soul. For now, memories of her would keep me going. Keep me strong. She was the light in my darkness. She was the colours in my black and white life. She was the core of my earth. She was everything...

And I do not even know her name.


Her perspective:

I started as a trainee here, with the heart of stone. I promised myself not to care about others, just staying alone. I failed. I made friends. I made myself happy. I was not alone. Life was great everyday. I lived everyday like it's my first. I was finally myself.

I told myself to let go, and I released everything. Every doubt, every feeling. I felt like a bird. It was then when my eyes opened. I saw many beautiful things in life which I failed to see before. But one beauty, totally captivated my eyes.

He was so beautiful. He was so serene. He was just the gentleman. I knew. We've not met, but I knew. If there was a chance, I would walk along that passageway just to catch a glimpse of him. His expression puts me to ease each and every single time.

I pretend looking into the managing directors' offices everytime I pass his desk, hoping for the offices to be vacant. The darker the office, the better. The darker the office, the clearer his reflection on the office glass window is. I stared at his reflection. I really stared. Thank the heavens for glass windows. I do this almost everyday, hoping he would not find out.

I think he does not even know I'm alive. I feel down when he is away from his desk. I need that calm feeling. I need to see him. I wish I would be given a task which allows me to work with him. Unfortunately, there was none. When I prepared to pack his travel advance, I was devastated. He was leaving for Singapore for a business trip. By the time he gets back, I would have already completed my training. I hope for a once last opportunity to talk to him. I hope that I am the one who would give him his travel advance.

I carefully looked through his travel advance requisition form. My world crashed down. I saw a "No" to the question "Do you need advance?" Not wanting to believe it, hoping it was a typo, I asked a senior about it. The senior gave me a glint of hope. The senior told me to personally ask him about it. I was overjoyed. Pretending to not know where he sat, my senior showed me the way.

At the corner of the cubicle, my world tumbled again. He was not at his desk. I was to inform the section manager and let her take it from there. I informed. She mailed. He replied the next day. He confirmed it was a "No". I lost all hopes of conversing with him.

I'm leaving in 2 weeks. He would still be in Singapore. He would never have known, the girl who admired him. The girl who stared at him. The girl who needed him...

Me.

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Nice or not, nice or not? I really want critics and comments on this please. Oh, and don't take this too seriously. I'm not the "girl" and no one is the "guy". ^_^

More frustration

I don't think I can stand living in this house anymore. I need to move out as soon as I can. This house is haunted. It's driving me insane. It's taking away my humanity little by little. Sucking every inch of good I had in me. If I live here another year, I'd be a rotten egg. I need to get out. Fast. I need to get away from the curse.

What if I died?



On a side note... I didn't actually write about CF's 2nd day huh? Guess I'm always leaving things behind... not completing things. And I don't seem to care. U_U This is not good of me. >_<

I fell in love....

again....

to the same person....

V
I
N
C
E
N
T

ZOMG I love you Kristine & Loo Mun. *huggles*

*swoons*

I just love him so much....

Male cow dung

"Why do coco's friends who are WORKING get ang pao and not my friends?"

"Coco's friends came on 2nd day. Now after pai tee kong cannot give ang pao."

BULLSHIT!


All those bullshit reasons:

"We're not rich people. Papa no money to give"

OOohhhh.... so he has the money to buy a Digital Videocam but not to give ang pao. So he has the money to plan to buy a new DVD burner but not give ang pao. CRAP!


"Now so late already no one gives ang pao"

So Chinese New Year is not for 15 days but only 2 days. Ah... now I understand. STUPID!


No one has a f*cked up family like mine who worships the "son" in the family. COWCRAP! I wonder how am I going to survive the next 6 months with these lunatics.

F*cked up

What is the stupidest thing in the world?

My family


What is the suckiest thing in the galaxy?

My family


What is the most despicable thing in the universe?

My family


In 6 months' time, I would be long gone from the stupid house. There is only so much a person can take and I've reached my limit. Mou genkai da. It is only stupid family members who work hard everyday to try to test another family member's patience. Only a useless family would drive a family member almost insane. A family so despicable, even animals are better.

Here's a totally simple wallpaper made by me: