Tolerance
/Is sad about her hair
Tolerance. How much tolerance can one person have? The amount of tolerance in one person greatly reflects his/her mental health, stability and strength. For me, it depends on the situation. Give me the same situation a dozen times testing that same particular tolerance, I blow up. Give me an idiot who keeps on doing stupid things, I tend to lose it sometimes. Give me all the harsh comments in the world to my face, I don't think that would be a problem for me. At least that's who I think I am. I have been 'shot' at for over an hour on what I did and I took it all in, without the slightest anger. In fact, I even agreed to quite a few points thrown at me. I do. Why? Because no one knows me better than myself and yes, I do know I have flaws. My only problem is that rectifying these flaws can be difficult for me sometimes. Like Jayla said in ANTM: "People can only get used to it because I can't constantly change the way I talk to people" It is almost the same for me. It's not that I can't change, it's that it's very hard for a change... lemme rephrase that... a sudden change to happen. Yes, I emphasize on the word sudden because I have changed in the past few years. Lee Na would know this better than anyone else. After Form 3, I made slight improvements with myself. I don't really wanna put anyone else in the situation Lee Na and some other friends went through. But on the other side of the coin, maybe it's a blessing. Maybe because it is with these flaws and these problems which we had, we're still close friends till now. We forgave but we did not really forget. We just chose to laugh it off now when we think about it, which is pretty cool to me. I must salute her however for such a high level of tolerance for the teenage me back then. Hahahaha...
Anyways, the reason I wrote about tolerance is because I simply can't tolerate my dad sometimes. Here I go wanting to teach him how to operate a new program and all, and what he did was act like he knew everything about it and basically ignored my 'teachings' and kinda forced me to shut up. So fine, I assume he can learn by himself since that was what I did. And then not more than a day later, he goes and do something wrong and he blames me. Blames me for not teaching him and blames me for whatever he did that was wrong. Tell me how can someone tolerate this? I mean once, ok. Twice, fine. Thrice, keeping it cool. But more than 10 times (in fact, I think much more than that) is crazy I tell ya. If someone can tolerate this, kudos to you. If you're saying that I'm insensitive as a daughter, well you have every right but so do I. I cannot. Call me spoiled, call me insensitive, call me a bad daughter, I don't care. I just can't. And the more I try to reason with him, the more frustrated I get which leads to harsh words and ignorance and shouting and unethical behaviour towards a parent (also quite rude). I can't change the way he is. I have already mentioned this to him 3 times so I hope he can try to avoid those situations with me, and I will try to be more tolerant. Speaking of telling someone about their flaws (or something they always do which you don't like), I actually found the guts to tell my mum that she always cut people off halfway through speaking with her. I get that a lot from her and I think I do it sometimes also but I feel that she's trying to tell me to shut up and just ignore me as a daughter. I mean here I am trying to share what I've been through and she cuts me off. And people ask me why I don't talk to my mum about stuff which happen around me and all. I tried. I can't. That's all there is to it.
No matter how high or low my tolerance is, no matter how many times I'm ignored, no matter how many times I seem to be invisible to most people, I still live. I'm still here living my life and having a blast in my own way. And no one's gonna take that away from me. No one.
"If you could see what I see, You're the answer to my pray"
Tolerance. How much tolerance can one person have? The amount of tolerance in one person greatly reflects his/her mental health, stability and strength. For me, it depends on the situation. Give me the same situation a dozen times testing that same particular tolerance, I blow up. Give me an idiot who keeps on doing stupid things, I tend to lose it sometimes. Give me all the harsh comments in the world to my face, I don't think that would be a problem for me. At least that's who I think I am. I have been 'shot' at for over an hour on what I did and I took it all in, without the slightest anger. In fact, I even agreed to quite a few points thrown at me. I do. Why? Because no one knows me better than myself and yes, I do know I have flaws. My only problem is that rectifying these flaws can be difficult for me sometimes. Like Jayla said in ANTM: "People can only get used to it because I can't constantly change the way I talk to people" It is almost the same for me. It's not that I can't change, it's that it's very hard for a change... lemme rephrase that... a sudden change to happen. Yes, I emphasize on the word sudden because I have changed in the past few years. Lee Na would know this better than anyone else. After Form 3, I made slight improvements with myself. I don't really wanna put anyone else in the situation Lee Na and some other friends went through. But on the other side of the coin, maybe it's a blessing. Maybe because it is with these flaws and these problems which we had, we're still close friends till now. We forgave but we did not really forget. We just chose to laugh it off now when we think about it, which is pretty cool to me. I must salute her however for such a high level of tolerance for the teenage me back then. Hahahaha...
Anyways, the reason I wrote about tolerance is because I simply can't tolerate my dad sometimes. Here I go wanting to teach him how to operate a new program and all, and what he did was act like he knew everything about it and basically ignored my 'teachings' and kinda forced me to shut up. So fine, I assume he can learn by himself since that was what I did. And then not more than a day later, he goes and do something wrong and he blames me. Blames me for not teaching him and blames me for whatever he did that was wrong. Tell me how can someone tolerate this? I mean once, ok. Twice, fine. Thrice, keeping it cool. But more than 10 times (in fact, I think much more than that) is crazy I tell ya. If someone can tolerate this, kudos to you. If you're saying that I'm insensitive as a daughter, well you have every right but so do I. I cannot. Call me spoiled, call me insensitive, call me a bad daughter, I don't care. I just can't. And the more I try to reason with him, the more frustrated I get which leads to harsh words and ignorance and shouting and unethical behaviour towards a parent (also quite rude). I can't change the way he is. I have already mentioned this to him 3 times so I hope he can try to avoid those situations with me, and I will try to be more tolerant. Speaking of telling someone about their flaws (or something they always do which you don't like), I actually found the guts to tell my mum that she always cut people off halfway through speaking with her. I get that a lot from her and I think I do it sometimes also but I feel that she's trying to tell me to shut up and just ignore me as a daughter. I mean here I am trying to share what I've been through and she cuts me off. And people ask me why I don't talk to my mum about stuff which happen around me and all. I tried. I can't. That's all there is to it.
No matter how high or low my tolerance is, no matter how many times I'm ignored, no matter how many times I seem to be invisible to most people, I still live. I'm still here living my life and having a blast in my own way. And no one's gonna take that away from me. No one.
"If you could see what I see, You're the answer to my pray"
posted by Lase at
10:50 pm
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