Was supposed to blog but....

.... I went yam cha instead and it lasted longer than I had expected. So I shall postpone it. ROFL. I know, I am lazy. :p And dammit I was not suppose to have any supper but I ate. I told myself before leaving, "No food" and there I was ordering maggi goreng. Sial man. I should yam cha at a place which serve nice drinks but sucky food next time. >_<

Oh, and before I post about the hand under my butt thing, don't think of dirty things ah... Dun wanna get the wrong message across like what happened when I verbally told some friends about it. Blogging can be safer cos I can reread before I post. And it won't sound that weird. :p Till then... patient a little, ya? ;)

Pop quizzie

Got this off Nazrin's blog, who got it from Fritz's blog (which I've not visited in a while hehehe)...

Choose a band/artist and answer the following questions using only their song titles as answer.

Artist : Celine Dion (cos she has the most song titles I know to choose from as answers :p )

1. Are you male or female? You Make Me Feel (Like A Natural Woman) or Treat Her Like A Lady or maybe Immortality *evil grin*

2. Describe yourself. I'm Your Angel *pukes blood*

3. How do SOME people feel about you? Only One Road

4. How do you feel about yourself? All By Myself

5. Describe your ex-girlfriend/ex-boyfriend. I Hate You Then I Love You (I tarak one leh)

6. Describe current girlfriend/boyfriend. Falling Into You (IF I had one lol)

7. Describe where you want to be. Halfway To Heaven

8. Describe how you live. River Deep, Mountain High

9. Describe how you love. Wa lau so many to choose from but I will settle for No Living Without Loving You

10.What would you ask for if you had just one wish? My Heart Will Go On (so I don't die :p )

11.Share a few words of wisdom. Think Twice

12.Favourite things. Little Bit Of Love

13.Describe your day. These Are Special Times

14.Now say goodbye. Goodbye's (the saddest word)


Was so itchy to answer I Don't Know to those questions which the answers just cannot cannot pop up in my mind. But then I tried harder and the results is me sleeping at 2.30AM (I started this at 2AM dammit >_< )

Scraping this, scraping that

Yeah basically I'm scraping off the header and footer thing (as if anyone actually reads it) cos I just grew out of it. After some time, I felt there was really no need for any of those to begin with. Never had them when I started blogging and now I know why. Just not my kinda thing (but I do read other bloggers' headers and footers - if any). Being the usual me, I'm still procrastinating and have not blogged about the events I'm supposed to blog on. I know, sudah basi till it does not matter if I did blog about it because it's old news. Ah well....

Time to sleep. Zzzzzzz....

Tolerance

/Is sad about her hair



Tolerance. How much tolerance can one person have? The amount of tolerance in one person greatly reflects his/her mental health, stability and strength. For me, it depends on the situation. Give me the same situation a dozen times testing that same particular tolerance, I blow up. Give me an idiot who keeps on doing stupid things, I tend to lose it sometimes. Give me all the harsh comments in the world to my face, I don't think that would be a problem for me. At least that's who I think I am. I have been 'shot' at for over an hour on what I did and I took it all in, without the slightest anger. In fact, I even agreed to quite a few points thrown at me. I do. Why? Because no one knows me better than myself and yes, I do know I have flaws. My only problem is that rectifying these flaws can be difficult for me sometimes. Like Jayla said in ANTM: "People can only get used to it because I can't constantly change the way I talk to people" It is almost the same for me. It's not that I can't change, it's that it's very hard for a change... lemme rephrase that... a sudden change to happen. Yes, I emphasize on the word sudden because I have changed in the past few years. Lee Na would know this better than anyone else. After Form 3, I made slight improvements with myself. I don't really wanna put anyone else in the situation Lee Na and some other friends went through. But on the other side of the coin, maybe it's a blessing. Maybe because it is with these flaws and these problems which we had, we're still close friends till now. We forgave but we did not really forget. We just chose to laugh it off now when we think about it, which is pretty cool to me. I must salute her however for such a high level of tolerance for the teenage me back then. Hahahaha...

Anyways, the reason I wrote about tolerance is because I simply can't tolerate my dad sometimes. Here I go wanting to teach him how to operate a new program and all, and what he did was act like he knew everything about it and basically ignored my 'teachings' and kinda forced me to shut up. So fine, I assume he can learn by himself since that was what I did. And then not more than a day later, he goes and do something wrong and he blames me. Blames me for not teaching him and blames me for whatever he did that was wrong. Tell me how can someone tolerate this? I mean once, ok. Twice, fine. Thrice, keeping it cool. But more than 10 times (in fact, I think much more than that) is crazy I tell ya. If someone can tolerate this, kudos to you. If you're saying that I'm insensitive as a daughter, well you have every right but so do I. I cannot. Call me spoiled, call me insensitive, call me a bad daughter, I don't care. I just can't. And the more I try to reason with him, the more frustrated I get which leads to harsh words and ignorance and shouting and unethical behaviour towards a parent (also quite rude). I can't change the way he is. I have already mentioned this to him 3 times so I hope he can try to avoid those situations with me, and I will try to be more tolerant. Speaking of telling someone about their flaws (or something they always do which you don't like), I actually found the guts to tell my mum that she always cut people off halfway through speaking with her. I get that a lot from her and I think I do it sometimes also but I feel that she's trying to tell me to shut up and just ignore me as a daughter. I mean here I am trying to share what I've been through and she cuts me off. And people ask me why I don't talk to my mum about stuff which happen around me and all. I tried. I can't. That's all there is to it.

No matter how high or low my tolerance is, no matter how many times I'm ignored, no matter how many times I seem to be invisible to most people, I still live. I'm still here living my life and having a blast in my own way. And no one's gonna take that away from me. No one.



"If you could see what I see, You're the answer to my pray"

Spoilers

/Is painting her nails



Spoilers. I hate spoilers. I hate spoilers so much that if it is not illegal to kill someone, I just might think about it. Serious. People who give out spoilers must DIE!! Or be mute for life for all I care. A particularly famous spoiler for me is my damn brother. That stupid idiot who finds it funny when he spoils something to me. What? Is it my angry face or my yelling or my beating him which makes him crave more? Or does he just enjoy hurting me, seeing me sad and just feel pure evil inside JUST BECAUSE he watched a movie before I did. Tell me people, what the heck is wrong with these people? Why would they want to take out the excitement and anticipation from someone else? ARGHHHHHH~!!!!! I know some people don't mind spoilers. But time and time again I have said, I MIND. I mind hearing spoilers dammit. I prefer watching and having my heart beat twice as fast anticipating who the winner is or what's going to happen next and all. Why do you rob me of this?

Take X-2 (X-Men 2) for example, the day before going to the cinema, he casually tells me someone's gonna die. With my death stare, he said, "But I never tell who, right? I did not say it was Storm. Oops." Another stare later and he went,"No lah teasing only lah. Can be Rogue. Oh wait, it's the bad guys lah. The good guys never die." WHAT THE BLOODY HELL IS WRONG WITH HIM TELL ME PLEASE???? Is my brother really THAT stupid? I feel like drilling a hole in his brain right there, right then. Hello???? You really think I'm THAT stupid ah? Thanks, thanks a lot. And if not to rub salt to the wound, my dad had to say,"Ya, newspaper also wrote that one of the X-Men died." +_________+ Kill me PLEASE! Don't these people enjoy the joy of anticipation? GAAHHHH~!!!! Even if I did not know who died, I will be just waiting for a scene where one is going to die or has the probability to die, right? Just takes all the excitement away. Bloody idiot. This is why I do not read articles about movies I want to watch and also not visit forums discussing anime because I tend to watch slower than most. Since we're on anime right now, let me point the gun to another loyal spoiler of mine. Jin. What the heck is wrong with brothers/godbrothers? Do they really want me to kill them? In Jin's case, I've lost count the numerous anime titles he's spoiled for me. Chrno Crusade, before I knew what was to happen, I already knew everyone was gonna die. Bleach, tonnes till I can't even remember. The ONLY ONLY ONLY anime which I think he did not spoil for me (more like I tried to evade any questions or discussions pertaining to that anime) is Fullmetal Alchemist and partly it was because I keep myself up to date with each new episode released. Yes, I only watched english subbed anime. Yes, I do not read the manga. That simply DOES NOT give you ANY right to spoil a title to me (I'm saying this in general and not about Jin only), especially when I specifically said,"Don't tell me spoilers or I'll kill you." And that is Jin's speciality. The minute I said that, he goes blabbering a spoiler. Thanks very much. Now die. *bang* Is my english THAT hard to comprehend? Does it sound like I'm trying to perform a reversed psychology when I said those words? (reversed psychology as in I said dun tell but I actually want you to tell) Tell me people, what? What did I do which makes my meaning fail to communicate across?

Coming back to my idiotic spoiler brother, X-2 is just one fish out of the whole Pacific Ocean he laid in front of me. Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Rings - Boromir's death, America's Next Top Model Season 4 - who the winner was, Survivor 1 - who the winner was, Tomb Raider II - the guy died, and the list goes on. With him, I think the only movie he did not manage (and will not succeed no matter how hard he tries) to spoil to me is Star Wars Episode III. Why? Cos everyone (ok, not everyone lah), especially me (who is a SW freak), knows that Anakin will turn to the Dark Side and become Darth Vader. The latest Harry Potter installment? Being the kiasu he is, he caught the premier on Thursday night. I knew I was going to watch it and definitely spoilers are a no no. So I totally avoided any urge of mine to ask him how was the movie, even how long it was. Success. I enjoyed the excitement awaiting what was going to happen next, who's going to win, who's going to do what, everything. It sure gives me more from my RM8.

So there, to those who know I hate spoilers, you better stop it or I just might lose my cool one day and kill you. To those who don't, now you do so try to avoid it as much as possible. You wouldn't want me going up to you and saying, "Eh, this movie damn sad cos everyone died in the end," right? So there, I've said my fill.

If you ask me: Why not watch it earlier and then spoil it to them?
Or: Why not read the manga then you know everything then spoil to them?
Or: Get the raw and then watch it then spoil it to them?

My answer is the same for all: These spoilers have no fear of being spoiled. They do not mind spoilers themselves and that's what makes this even more frustrating. You can't take revenge, and you can't stop them. Though I'm not one who likes to give out spoilers ON PURPOSE (accidents happen, I agree, even I make mistakes sometimes by perceiving the other party has already watched it) so it's hard for me to take revenge also.

Just if Lai Ching is reading this: No, the Survivor spoiler was not on purpose. :) Though Lee Na and I were shocked. ^_^;;


Oh, and before you start saying I'm no better cos I just gave out spoilers in this post of mine, check those movies/anime.... they're at least 3 months old if not more. And my say is that if you've not seen it by then, probably you won't watch it anyways so no, there is no spoiler.


~~ SAY NO TO SPOILERS! ~~





"As I lay me down to sleep, yes I pray, that you would hold me dear, the words from when I whisper your name into the sky, I would wake up happy"

Mad uni life

/Is having an itchy throat -.-



Yes, university life is madness. Or to the least, it can drive one mad. There's so much misconception, misintepretation and misleading thoughts that sometimes I feel like I'm losing myself in this stage of life. It can drive me nuts! How well can your memory serve you? Here you stride along the corridor thinking about what you said the day before and then someone comes up to you and relates a different story. Am I going out of my mind? Was my memory that bad? Or was it just words people stuff into my mouth and making me believe I said those words. Is my mind being manipulated each and every single day in the university? Can I keep my cool or would I falter and break into tiny little pieces before I even graduate?

Now that I think about it, was there ever a single day in my uni life where I was being just myself? Where I believed in what I did and strived for my goals? Was there a time when I felt like I finally achieved something and the path leading to the trophy was laid by me myself? Or was I stuck to another person's fantasies? Another person's dreams? Was I controlled like a puppet or being mind-controlled of some sort? Feelings of having my words and thoughts manipulated time and time again are playing in my heart. Only thing I can do now is strive to not be manipulated anymore, and hope I survive the remaining months in the uni. I think I can. I've formed a plan. [Codename: SHUDDAP] This is where I just keep my mouth shut most of the time unless really necessary and get through each day without much manipulation. Well, one can't manipulate what I never said, right? Yes. That would be the ideal plan. Probably even with an 80% chance of success. Good. Very good.


And there I was browsing through my 'stuff to blog.txt' and here's what's in there. They'll be coming soon... just not sure how soon. I get sidetracked too easily hahah...

- Nazrin's birthday BBQ
- Dyeing my hair?
- Hand under butt
- KL trip
- Clubbing?
- Never seen a sincere smile, why am I doing it I dunno
- everyone should just treat as though i died physically till february, online alive though
- certain things that you feel like telling but you know you should not... if i were to tell everyone everything i wanna tell, i think i will just make the whole world wage war against me
- is social life really for me?



"Sayonara no senaka miokutte, kimi ga kimi ni deautame no story, ima shizuka ni hajimaru..."

Valentine's Day

/Is bloated



Was browsing through my mail and I saw this Genting promotion thing selling flowers and the I saw today's date. Wow. In like 2.5 months, florists everywhere will be earning big bucks in a matter of days. Times like this I wish I were a florist. In fact, I wish I can be a florist during Valentine's Day, Father's Day, Mother's Day and Teachers' Day. And someone else on other occasions. And having another job on all the occasion-less days. ^_^;; We can dream and I shall dream. Lalala.... Anyways back to the big V-Day... It's approaching fast and I tend to imagine situations (possible and impossible) for this day. Quite fun actually but sometimes sad. Hahahaha.... I'm never a person who feels lonely (at least I don't think I am) so I'll get by fine just like any other day. Though when I had a (friendly) flower 3 years back from Hongaun, it was quite nice. :D Who cares if he did that just to help out his club (the club was selling flowers for V-Day).

Maybe <EMiNA should just wrap nice chocolates and sell them to girls to give the guys they like. And open another booth one week later for White Day (is it called that?) where the guys buy for the girls. ^_^ Cool, ne?



"Mornea utulea, Believe and you shall find your way, Mornea Alandea, A promise lives within you now..... A promise lives within.... you.... now...."

Stupid day

/Is sleepy



WHAT THE FREAKING HELL IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE TODAY???!!!

And it's only 1 hour into the day. +_____+ Lucky there's no one beside me else that guy/girl is just gonna get strangled so bad, he/she just might DIE!

What am I bitching about?

I've been trying to sleep and somehow people just can't stop calling me or waking me up. What's wrong with the world lah. You don't just barge in someone's room and on the damn blardy light in hopes the sleeper will wake up, ok? And the light is damn bright ok? And here I am bitching when I should be asleep.... or at least try to be asleep.

I swear the next person who wakes me up is going to die.



"There's a heart that must be free to fly, now burn with the need to know the reason why, why must they all conceal, who we meet, how we feel"